In a recent conversation with my son (who left the nest last year and is dating ‘Adorable Girlfriend’), he revealed that he and A.G. have a weekly date night. When I asked what he had planned he commented that money is tight since he’d just paid bills and was in between paychecks, so he was going to suggest they take advantage of the fresh rains and enjoy an evening of puddle jumping followed by hot chocolate.

His realizations impressed me:

1. Take care of important things first when it comes to budgeting your money
2. Let the lack of funds spur creativity
3. Important relationships deserve the investment of time

That conversation inspired this list of gifts designed to foster meaningful relationships for the newly independent adults that are juggling school, part-time jobs, and dating.

• A cool picnic back pack loaded with everything necessary for an outing: Map or tour guide featuring the local hiking trails, sunscreen, trail mix, granola bars, salami, cheese, crackers, and sport’s drinks…exploring all the trails in the tour guide will promote good health and provide activity for future dates at a relatively low cost over time
• Gift card to the movie theater
• “Movie Madness’ gift box that’s stocked with popcorn, candy bars, nutty snack mix, soft drinks, and a gift card to the local video store (Or, why not purchase a plan where you can have 3 movies out at a time and give him carte blanche to use one of the three at all times?)
• A plant to grow & nurture, as does the relationship, with a Tree-in-a-Bag or a windowsill garden
• Gift cards to the local coffee shop or smoothie joint (In support of local businesses, I like to choose the ‘mom & pop’ joints over the big chains, which as an extra perk, often have free wi-fi & live evening music or art exhibitions making for a cool date)
• Gift card to the grocery store so they can shop together and then cook dinner together
• Gift card to a restaurant that can be used for a date (I’ve done this in the past for him. He told me they found a way to make it last by ordering from the appetizer menu that was 1/2 price during happy hour rather than ordering entrees.)
• Passes to the local miniature golf/amusement park

What’s your suggestion for these ‘newly independent daters’?

Did you know that women are better at creating the buzz? According to Rick Segal, retail marketing guru, women are more likely to recommend a product or service they like than men - and do so 57% more frequently.

Flowers? Jewelry? Perfume? Pampering?

Nope.

To be loved, valued, and appreciated.

Everyone takes part in social media sites for different reasons. Some are there for information,  news, marketing, entertainment, or as a means to fill a void and ease loneliness. One thing is clear, the potential to increase your sphere of influence and grow exponentially is very real, indeed.

Over the last year, I have joined several social media sites, but have only truly taken an interest and become active as of late.  These are the ones I belong to, listed in order of favorites and where I focus my energy:

Central Coast Today Profile name Elise

What I like best about CCT, is the fact that the membership is predominantly local and there are constant opportunities to grow relationships face-to-face. These meet-ups run the gammet, from pure social entertainment, outdoor adventures, social awareness & fundraising, to business networking and masterminding. There really is something for everyone, if you just take the time to look through the 150+ communities and 1000s of discussions. I feel as though my world has been enhanced by the new friends I’ve made on CCT.

Twitter @EnWrapture

This is very new for me, and I’m still caught up in trying to learn the lingo, the etiquette, knowing how often, etc. One of the biggest challenges is deciding which kind of tweets offer value to my followers. I’m greatly impressed with my mentor, @MarthaVan (creator of Action Wipes), and her abiltiy to create brand awareness as she ’stalks’ Lance Armstrong and other celebrity athletes. In a short time, she has garnered over 1600 followers and won the Twitter Shorty Awards for Branding. As @MarthaVan’s fan base has grown, so, too, has her roster of friends. As she is out and about on the road, she is always looking to meet local tweeps face-to-face (or f2f as they tweet it), and has both given and received the warmest of hospitality. Not only are her escapades entertaining to follow, she also often posts great pictures, contests and giveaways, so she’s well worth following.

Linkedin & Facebook

I haven’t put much effort into these two sites, and I’m not sure why these have so much less appeal to me than CCT and Twitter. Linkedin is definitely lacking the seasoning that personal comments provide, which serve to add warmth and humanize the profiles. I have had a few old friends reconnect with me via both Linkedin and Facebook.

Should I give them a little more effort? What value have you gained from using social media?

I’d like to introduce you to ylang-ylang (ee lang-ee lang) since one of my readers indicated they weren’t yet familiar. Native to the rainforests of the Philipines, Indonesia, and common in Polynesia, Melanesia, and Micronesia, this essential oil comes from the delicate and highly scented blossom of the Cananga tree or shrub. Commonly used in perfumes and body care products, it’s fragrance can be characterized as rich and deep with heavy notes of rubber and custard, while sweetly floral and exotic with hints of jasmine and bitter orange (neroli). It can be both relaxing and stimulating, affecting anxiety, high blood pressure, intestinal problems, sexual dysfunction, and stress.

I just got off the phone with a dear old friend and traveling companion, BJ (or Beej as we’d fondly call her), from what I call ‘my old life’, referring to my time spent overseas. I’m reminded of a song we used to sing at Camp Fire Girls get-togethers:

Make new friends

But keep the old

One is silver and the other’s gold

Since moving back to the states in December of 2000 I’ve had to start all over and make new friends, create a new network. While wonderful people have come into this ‘new life’, there is no replacing those friendships I made overseas in Saudi Arabia, some beginning at the onset in 1993. Many of us very different and perhaps not someone we would have ventured to get to know had we been in the comfort zone of home, yet always with one particular common thread: we were expatriates, away from family, friends, and home, searching for something familiar, someone with whom to discover the richness & mystery of the new culture and city. We could share the trials and tribulations of the loss of freedom our gender forced upon us in this exotic place and at the same time celebrate this new found gift - the gift of time.

Many of us had previously worked full-time while trying to raise our children in a society that required 2 incomes to support even a modest lifestyle, and this respite from careers afforded us the luxury of pursuing other interests, new hobbies, the ability to fully participate in our children’s lives, volunteering at school, performing community service, becoming advocates for worthy causes…and traveling. In between our stateside vacations, we would venture off on side trips to visit other wonders of the world - the pyramids of Giza, the Taj Mahal in India, Ephesus in Turkey and Hadrian’s Gate, the souks that were like a rabbit’s warren in Marrakesh…

Then circumstances would change and someone would move away, relocating somewhere else in the world. Now that these ‘golden’ friends and I are spread out all over the globe, I look forward to the phone calls and emails that help to close the distance and allow us to dream of the possibility of reuniting for our next adventure.

Valentine’s Day is around the corner and love is in the air! Have you decided on the perfect gift for your significant other yet? Give a gift from your heart and whip up a batch of chocolate covered strawberries - it’s quite simple with this recipe:

1lb stawberries

12 oz. semisweet chocolate chips

white chocolate for drizzling

1 tablespoon of oil

1. Leaving tops on, wash strawberries and then dry each of them thoroughly (very important since any water will ruin the chocolate).
2. In a small saucepan, add oil and chocolate chips and melt over very low flame, stirring constantly until smooth.
3. One by one, dip berry, gently shake and swirl the dripping chocolate as you lift upward, then turn tip upward to fill gaps.
4. Place on waxed paper, drizzle with white chocolate, and refrigerate for 2 hours.

Your mate never needs to know just how simple this was.

January. What a month! Possibly the most memorable ever due to the creative efforts of those closest to me, who came together to give me the ‘Best Gift Ever’ for Christmas. Each day of January, all 31 of them, I received a gift from this group. Sometimes it was a warm thought, a silly instruction for the day, some pampering, new music, gift card to a favorite place…it was a great way to start each day. The only bad part was the few times I’d be out and about and remember that I forgot to check my calendar that morning - then I’d have to suffer the anticipation until I could return home.

Here’s a list of my 31 gifts:

1. A rhyme by my witty 13 year old ‘Favorite Youngest Daughter’, that I should say on the first day of the new year for good luck
2. An hour massage from one of the significant other’s sister, who is a massage therapist (and is fantastic!)
3. A day of dishes by my ‘Favorite Youngest Daughter’
4. A love letter from my very insightful 21 year old ‘Favorite Oldest Daughter’
5. A new music CD of an artist my ‘Favorite Oldest Daughter’ and her ‘Awesome Boyfriend’ were sure I’d love (they know me so well!)
6. A breakfast of ‘Toad in the Hole’ made by none other than my own ‘Significant Other’ (he does it so much better than I do)
7. A gift card to my favorite local coffee shop, It’s A Grind
8. A love letter from my 18 year old ‘Favorite Son’, who has recently left the nest, with an invitation to meet downtown for a Jamba Juice - his treat; while he’ll come for dinner with ‘Adorable Girlfriend’, he never brings his laundry home
9. An incredibly sweet note from Favorite Oldest Daughter’s Awesome Boyfriend’s sister (’s neighbor’s aunt’s friend…)
10. A warm thought from my very own ‘Significant Other’
11. Gift card from my ‘Favorite Oldest Daughter’ for cocktails at Corner View, my favorite place to hangout and catch up with friends
12. Note full of sweetness from my ‘Favorite Youngest Daughter’
13. A music CD I’ve been wanting for awhile from this talented young artist
14. Dog Walk by ‘Favorite Youngest Daughter’ - without asking
15. Note from my ‘Favorite Son’ declaring how much he and ‘Adorable Girlfriend’ love to come for dinner and requesting an invitation
16. Car Wash certificate from ‘Favorite Youngest Daughter’
17. Coco, the CD from Colbie Caillat
18. Voucher for a romantic dinner anywhere I want with my very own ‘Significant Other’ (hmmm, I haven’t yet tried this place)
19. All the Lost Souls CD by James Blunt
20. A shopping extravaganza with ‘Significant Other’ where I get to buy anything I want…at the Dollar Store…isn’t he generous? And funny?
21. A cure for my coffee fix with another gift card to my favorite local coffee shop
22. Border’s gift card from ‘Significant Other’….book or music, book or music, book or music?
23. More of my favorite things - music, music, music
24. Another warm thought from ‘Significant Other’…with amusing descriptions of how silly he can be
25. Jamba Juice gift card from ‘Favorite Oldest Daughter’s Awesome Boyfriend’
26. Movie tickets
27. Another CD
28. Warm thoughts from my ‘Favorite Oldest Daughter’ with a good luck mantra for the month of February
29. Another solution to my coffee fix…yes, another gift card
30. An incredible note from ‘Favorite Oldest Daughter’s Awesome Boyfriend’
31. A last gift, more music to carry me through the rest of 2008

How can they top this next year?

F-E-A-R

With a fairly new entrepreneurial endeavor, I’m finding that the time frame in which goals are being met is quite different than what I had planned…not an uncommon scenario. As I meet with other local business owners & entrepreneurs for brainstorming, masterminding, networking, and support, I find that this is a common topic and one that is surrounded with fear…”Will my business last long enough for me to get the ‘big break’?” “Will my customer base grow fast enough?” “Am I positioned appropriately for my target market?”

I just received this instruction in an email from Martha, a fellow entrepreneur and mentor:

We have to stop beating ourselves up…read this article: http://www.skininc.com/articles/14986171.html

In the article titled, There’s a Fortune in Failure, by Gary Bradt, PhD, he stresses the importance of altering our perception of failure from a negative to a positive and gives 5 ways to do so. I recommend you read the article for yourself, but until then, here’s a summary of them:

1. Realize that each failure is an opportunity to learn from our mistakes
2. Have realistic expectations (both you and your client)
3. Understand that while success doesn’t require perfection, it does require action
4. Don’t be dominated and crippled by fear (heard of Susan Jeffers’ book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway?)
5. Concentrate more on the ‘here and now’ and worry less about the ‘what if’ scenarios

How have you enjoyed success by overcoming a fear?

Did you know these scents can raise our body temperature and/or our libido?

• Cinnamon
• Jasmine
• Sandalwood
• Patchouli
• Musk
• Rose
• Ylang-ylang
• Vanilla
• Ginger
• Clove

Look for candles, linen mists, bath products, and massage creams that are made with these essential oils. I think you will find it well worth the effort to incorporate them into play with your partner.

Keep in mind when looking for quality products that it’s best to stick to items made with natural ingredients, pure essential oils, are free of parabens, sodium lauryl sulfates, dyes, formaldehyde and synthetic fragrances.

Tip: products made with pure essential oils tend to be easy to spot since they are proud to boast, as they should be, whereas items that promote the word ‘fragrance’ are generally chemical based.

What’s your favorite aphrodisiac?